When I first moved here I stuck out like a sore thumb. In a city of tourists, New Yorkers have a way of knowing when someone’s out of place. Mainly because I always looked confused. Now, I can spot a tourist or someone new to the city from a mile away. Such as; you look up in amazement all the time, you stand still on the street trying to get your bearings and you look skeptical entering any establishment.
Whether you’re heading over on holidays or moving to New York, using these guidelines should help you fit right in:
- Don’t complain about train delays, just expect them.
2. Say ‘have a great day/night’ leaving every cab, restaurant or store.
3. When explaining where you are, don’t give an address, give the intersection (eg. ‘28th and 7th).
4. Lose all patience, especially walking through the city and entering/exiting the subway.
5. Don’t wait for the walk sign to cross the road, just go when it’s okay to cross.
6. Never be shocked at the price of anything.
7. Avoid Midtown at all costs.
8. Plan brunch every Sunday followed by watching NFL at a busy sports bar.
9. Moscow Mules and Titos and soda are your new go-to drinks. Except on Football Sunday when you only drink Bud Lite.
10. Get to know the bartenders at your local bar and staff at the corner bodega.
11. Do your grocery shopping at Trader Joe’s.
12. Don’t stare at strangers on the subway no matter how odd they may be acting, put those headphones in and look straight ahead.
13. Suggest a coffee run to Starbucks or Dunkin’ twice a day.
14. Don’t act repulsed by the sight of a rat on the subway tracks.
15. Obsess over spacious apartments when you’re graced with the opportunity to be in one. Also if they have a dishwasher or better yet, laundry in the building- amazing.
16. Don’t take a picture of the Empire State Building every time you pass it (still me everyday).
17. Eat a cream cheese bagel for breakfast every morning.
18. Borrow a friend’s dog and walk it around Central Park.
19. Speaking of phrases.. Say ’Want to grab some beers?’ not ‘Want to go drinking?’. It’s ’Can I have the check?’ instead of the bill. Ask someone if they want to ‘go to the movies’ not to the cinema and say ‘Where’s the restroom?’ not ‘toilet’.
20. Get a pocket sticker on the back of your phone to hold your MetroCard.
21. Know what doors of the subway will open for every stop on your commute.
22. Never speak about driving because no one drives in NYC.
23. When hungry at a bar, order Nachos, mozzarella sticks or wings and always ask for side of ranch.
One final tip is to keep walking and don’t stop to accept someone’s mixtape or listen to a salesperson. You’re not really getting VIP access to Lady Gaga’s show or being offered a L’Oreal beauty package at a discount. We are the most gullible people on the planet, ain’t that right Dad?